Vijaykanth the real Tamil Action Hero

Disclaimer: Although all my blogs are full of sarcasm, please note that all examples quoted and points mentioned in the following blog about the Action Sequences and Exploits of a Tamil Action Hero is absolutely true and are based on actual observations of the hundreds of shitty South Indian action movies that I have seen! (I watched these movies for a research on 'how not to make movies!' and for another research called '100 ways to die of laughter!')

Some Facts.....

1. Vijaykanth makes onions cry
2. Vijaykanth can delete the Recycle Bin
3. Ghosts are actually caused by Vijaykanth killing people faster than Death can process them
4. Vijaykanth can build a snowman..... out of rain
5. Vijaykanth can strangle you with a cordless phone
6. Vijaykanth can drown a fish
7. When Vijaykanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... .... he turns the dark off
8. When Vijaykanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Vijaykanth and Vijaykanth
9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards Vijaykanth can throw Brett Favre even further
10. The last digit of pi is Vijaykanth, He is the end of all things
11. Vijaykanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die
12. Bullets dodge Vijaykanth
13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Vijaykanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there
14. Vijaykanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Vijaykanth
15. If you spell Vijaykanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Vijaykanth? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
16. Vijaykanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle
17. Once a cobra bit Vijaykanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died
18. When Vijaykanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live
19. Vijaykanth can kill two stones with one bird
20. Vijaykanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop
21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Vijaykanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he want
22. There is no such thing as global warming. Vijaykanth was cold, so he turned the sun up
23. Vijaykanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night
24. Vijaykanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way
25. It takes Vijaykanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes
26. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vijaykanth could use to kill you, including the room itself
27. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Vijaykanth
28. Vijaykanth destroyed the periodic table, because Vijaykanth only recognizes the element of surprise
29. Vijaykanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds
30. The square root of Vijaykanth is pain. Do not try to square Vijaykanth, the result is death
31. When you say "no one's perfect", Vijaykanth takes this as a personal insult."