Tamil Action Hero - Action Scenes & more.....

Disclaimer: Although all my blogs are full of sarcasm, please note that all examples quoted and points mentioned in the following blog about the Action Sequences and Exploits of a Tamil Action Hero is absolutely true and are based on actual observations of the hundreds of shitty South Indian action movies that I have seen! (I watched these movies for a research on 'how not to make movies!' and for another research called '100 ways to die of laughter!')

The previous entry that I made was about the looks of a Tamil Action Hero....now lets talk about what makes a Tamil Action Hero an 'Action Hero'!!!

Various Exploits of the 'Tamil Action Hero':

He is stronger than 100 elephants combined - this guy could easily overturn couple of trucks, cars, buses etc without batting an eyelid! He knows and is totally aware of his Herculean strengths.......unlike Hanuman who did not know how strong he was until coaxed by his friends!
He can battle a minimum of 500 people at a time - the TAH is India's answer to NEO of Matrix. Remember the scene where NEO battles multiple Smiths (with all his 'The One' powers) and finally gives up and escapes the scene by flying off! Well, our Tamil Action Hero doesn't fly off like that sissy (NEO). He fights all the 500 until he brings each and everyone down to the floor!
He is gifted with the powers of Clairvoyance - when in a fight, it is important to have the ability to read the opponent's next move...now our TAH can not only predict 'accurately' the next move of the opponent but also do the same for multiple opponents at a time! (as I said atleast 500). for e.g even before the villian thinks of taking his gun out and firing, our TAH would duck (from the bullet which never came out of the barrel of the gun); even before the villians 'think' of punching, our TAH has already blocked the punch (which was never delivered in the first place!)even before the villian 'thinks' of striking the hero with a sword, he has already killed the villian....pheww!
He runs faster than a Cheetah - When our TAH is being pursued by the villians, they are always unable to reach him....there is this scene, from a recent hit tamil movie, where one the famous TAH is in on a Freeway in US and running hard from some B-Grade Hollywood villians. He is on foot running and the villians armed to the teeth with automatic rifles and driving a Lamborghini and a Hummer are not able to reach him!!!
His horse runs faster than all Indian Cars, Jeeps and Trains - I am sure all of you have seens enough and more nauseating kollywood scenes from the 70s and 80s, of the Hero pursuing villians (who have abducted the obese heroine) in a Jeep, Car or Train and are being pursued by the TAH on a white horse! I don't know if the horse is fed on steroids or if it's a unicorn from the heavens, but what I know for sure is that, the bloody horse overtakes the automobiles and comfortably allows the Hero to transfer himself to the running vehicle in one death defying stunt!

.................to be continued!